okay. this is awfully long. Well where do I start.. hmm.. n__n
I had a best friend. Long story short.. we realised that we were bisexual and stuff, and we nearly like, got together I suppose, but we never actually got round to be into anything serious. It was often off and on, like, she would be like 'I love you', and then the next day or something she would convince me she didn't have feelings for me in that way. It was confusing. I didn't really take what she said seriously anymore, so I just moved on from that and we didn't really discuss or talk over it much, but we were still like the best of friends. Things started getting complicated in the summer holidays... and we fell out really badly. The reason for falling out isn't really relevant, but she just didn't want to be close anymore, and she had found new friends, and she told them like lots of stuff about me and they didn't really like me and they just like screwed at me and believed what she said, and didn't actually take into considerate I was like, broken and upset from it all. I found new friends too and started talking others a lot more, and I eventually got over the fact that we weren't close anymore; except the thing is, she started crawling back to me.. but I didn't really want anything to do with it until I had sorted out what I wanted >_< she then didn't come online very often, and she was drifting from her new friends. She disappeared out of their msn names and stuff. A few weeks after I noticed she wasn't like on msn, I started meeting up with her new friends. They all loved me >_< and we all became so close and I felt so happy, and I also met this guy who is great. We really liked each other, and so we were gonna get together, but my old friend reared her head again, and we became close again.. Then me and daaa boy finally got together but I didn't tell my ex best friend because I didn't feel like I had to. It came as a shock to her but she acted fine.
...Skipping some weeks now lolol.
After being with him for about a month or so, secrets about me and my friend being all bisexual started seeping out when she was drunk this one night and was telling him on msn. He then thought something was going on between us at the time we were actually going out, and ofc that never happened; but he was alright with it in the end. It was in the past. but it was like too late... it all got out, and yes, everyone was cool and understanding about it but I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet, so that was quite hard to go through with.
Then me and 'him' broke up.. and like, my ex best friend was a right arse about it and she wouldn't even talk to me because I apparently blanked my boyfriend when I never did ^o) and how would she even know when I never tell her anything anymore. A bit judgemental I thought? (and also, some girl I know who was my best friend after my ex best friend had grouped against me with her and she was saying how horrible I am to just 'leave her after everything had happened between us' and stuff and that was just like harsh to go through because I knew I never did anything to hurt anyone and I was just living my life to what came at me o_O but yeah whatever it's not important I just got accused for stuff but I just agreed with her opinion because I saw where if was coming from, but nothing was even happening between us to upset her? She started saying this because I said to my ex best friend and my ex boy friend that I'll just be like there when theyre going out and it'll be like awkward and hard to see it ¬_¬)
It was halloween the night we broke up and we were out with everyone at about 11. My ex best friend then slept over at mine because she wanted to, and I noticed an hour after me and my boyfriend broke up they are getting really close, and I also noticed she was bitching about me, on my laptop in my house, but she thought I couldn't even see. it annoyed me yeah, but I figured, how can I complain if I ended it with him for the right reasons? So I left it. They then told me like a week later they like each other, and it was upsetting and stuff, but i'm okay with it now and I just don't want to intervine to be called horrible names and stuff. The thing is, after they tell me that, my ex boyfriend tells me he still likes me.
This is like what I need help with xD He tells me he likes me and we spend lots of time together and it's really nice, and I even thought I had grown feelings too. One night he walked me home and it was awesome, and on msn he kept saying how much he loved it and he kept saying that he thought he really liked me ex best friend but still has feelings for me too. He keeps telling me and telling me, but then next day at school my ex bestfriend is back after being ill, and he just doesn't talk to me. He was just like with her all day. So I asked him about it, and he was like 'i just don't want to hurt anyone' and he then basically said that he only really likes her now. I just feel messed about and played and everything despite the fact he claims he isn't playing anyone... So I told him how I feel. And he was like WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME D: and I was like, 'I don't want to intervine with you two' then he starts being like 'I only liked her because I didnt think I could get you back' and I just don't believe it -_- so I was like right then, i'll see what you're like at school. Again, didn't actually talk me. Now on msn he's being like BABABABABE<3 i love you, and it's like stop messing with my head plz.
what do I even do? because the thing is I need to consider my ex best friends feelings too because we have a past and like I do care about her so much even if we don't talk much. I can't get with my ex boyfriend but it hurts if they get together. It's just like a massive dilemma
It's just so complicated @_@
p.s the smiths
xx
