Jenny94 / Dec 29 2009 20.35

Hey Jen

I know telling you that 10 days self harm free is amazing wont change your thoughts about it but i really want to stress that it is coz i've read ur past threads and it seams to me that thats the best u've managed for a while, so really really well done.

Let me also say i used to feel like that fat, disgusting, ugly so i stopped eating. I controlled all my food intake counting EVERYTHING, it completely took over my life. However my point is i lost tons of weight but i felt the same or tbh i felt worse even though i was really thin i still felt inadaquate, sad, anxious, worried, stressed but on top i felt grumpy and ill. 

I think i remember a past post of urs saying that camhs had discharged u. Maybe (and don't take this the wrong way) that its the loss of that support that is making you care less about stopping self harm. Honestly sometimes when my head of year forgets about a meeting or something i wonder why i'm bothering at all to stop.

Also try not to blame yourself, everyone who self harms have their own reasons to for doing it. Really its just stupid people who haven't been through what each of us have that should feel the guilt when they laugh or say horrible things when they can't POSSIBLY understand what its like. Seriously, i pity them..

Don't say you're pathetic coz ur not and i'm sure you've heard this often enough but its just your way of coping with situations that aren't easy and that other people your age haven't had to cope with (which is why they don't understand sometimes)

Please Jen, try and talk to someone who can give you more help because although atm you are managing the self harm, your anxiety is still there and you need more support.

Good luck babe and take care - don't think about those stupid people who have perfect lives and feel the need to taunt people who are not as happy as they are...

Always here

Jenny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

nicky15 / Dec 29 2009 21.13

hey, i know that you probably wont beleive me, but your NOT worthless,  your NOT fat OR ugly, and beleive me there is always something that matters, i find when i get to that stage when you feel like nothing else matters, there is always one thing i can concentrate on to get me through it, my cat! it sounds silly but i know that no matter what happens he wont judge me, and thats what keeps me going! have you got any pets that you could concentrate on when you get down? also have you tried anti-depressants before? i have only just gone on them (literally i took the first one this morning!) so i dont know whether they will be any good or not but will see and keep you updated on how they work out!

MusicSavesLives / Jan 01 2010 14.24

Hey Jen (:

I know what it's like to stop cutting. It feels awful when things don't get better and you just feel worse. But trust me, things get worse before they get better. Try and do something else when you would normally cut, like go listen to some music or go draw. You're not a horrible pathetic weirdo. At all. There are probably loads of people in your situation. Eventually things will get better, I promise. It's horrible when you first stop, because that's all you want to do but the urge will start to fade away after a while. I hope everything starts to get better soon. x