I am 15, nearly 16. When I was 14 I developed depression, anxiety and started self harming. Exactly one year ago my depression got very serious and I tried to commit suicide because I literally felt as though I couldn't survive my feelings. Obviously I survived, am recovering and am glad that the hospital managed to save me. Ever since that though, I have developed this fear of dying. It is horrible and I keep getting panic attacks from it, i hate them.
I am haunted by images in my mind of my body just lying still and rotting away. I am terrified of not being able to feel, to think or to see. I am terrified of not being able to consciously think and be aware anymore. I also am now terrified of sleeping because I always feel as though it is like dying and that scares me. The fact that I suddenly loose awareness is horrifying to me. The only thing that gives me the slightest bit of hope is that when we are asleep we get dreams so maybe we will experience something when we die too but i honestly have no idea. When I am busy pannicking about dying and crying over it I am scared that time is going too quickly. It seems to be literally rushing past me and I feel as though my life is going to be over so soon. It all feels too quick.
I have no idea how to alleviate my fears!
