Its like somebody is cutting through me
The pain is sharp as a knife and can't bear
I try to match it by cutting but its not enough
It literally feels like there's a gaping hole inside me
No matter what I do I can't stop it

My tears are flowing freely every day
My head hurts, Im tired, Im stressed
I'm sick of trying to fight this

I dont think this gets any easier
To be honest its only getting harder
Getting harder and harder with less and less support
Im back to self harm every day
I can't keep up with everything, I just want to sleep

I'm not ok but nobody realises
My friends are pushing me down further
Its like they are all determined to see me hit the bottom
Do they really want this?
Do they really want to watch me fall?

I don't know.
I don't know anymore
I have my last review meeting with CAMHS on wed
I dont want to go; its pointless
Im getting discharged anyway so there is no point in going
I can't be bothered; nobody seems to be able to help
Im done with trying
Im done with pushing myself
Im done with talking
I won't do it anymore; I have run out of strength.

I can't even sleep; I keep dreaming and its so scary. I mean last night I woke up and cried because I was dreaming that I killed myself.. it was horrible; i dont want to do that. All my dreams involve me getting hurt whether its by myself or somebody else. When Im awake its the same; I can feel the pain from when I was in hospital. I can remember screaming because I couldn't bear the sadness, it was so horrible and I jsut sit and cry now. I dont know what to do with all this

I guess Im stuck like this forever