Guys, please, don't laugh at me. 

My names ******, i'm 14, and i'm a boy. Random facts, I know.

I really need some help, heres whats happening:

When I was 8 my parents split up, I was devastated, we went from a mansion, to a small village house, just outside london. 

When I was 9 my parents got back together, and we all went on holiday to st.lucia (carribean), I was happy again, then, they split once more, and I became depressed, diagnosed.

When I was 10, things began to look up for me, but then everything came crashing down, dad had a new girlfriend, she's nice, but she's not my mum, i have to learn to except that.

My dear nan was heavily drinking after my grandad died, and my uncle too, they both had to go to a rehab centre.

Things picked up again, until I began worrying about loads of little things, my mum would take my dogs for a walk each morning and I was so scared something would happen to her, I'd get little images in my mind of a man attacking her, or worse, when she left to take them i'd time what time she left and if she wasn't home in 25 mins, i'd cry my eyes out, i'd try to call her, and if for some reason i couldnt get in touch, i'd cry more and more. My mind was going crazy and things felt hopeless, my parents took me to a therapist, we talked, and i felt better. I was fragile, but better.

I thought things were going okay, but lately things, have worsened. I cry all the time, I'll be all happy and excited then a few hours later, I be crying, telling myself how fat and ugly i am, wondering who would miss me if i was dead.

I started hearing these voices, in my head, they sound so real, they tell me to do things, i see these pictures, they say things, i get these images in my head of me dead, it's horrible. these pictures and voices scare me, i'm scared.

Please help me, ive searched things all over the web and theres all types of things that could be wrong? Bi polared, scitzophremia, but i don't want to convince myself that i have any of these things, whats happening to me?