He left me behind and yet he's taken me away in so many different ways and I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I HATE HIM WITH EVERY CELL IN MY BODY but if I did , I would be lying . and thats the thing . poeople say " but you're over **** , right ? " and you say quickly yeah yeah yeah I hate him ! but then you know thats not true and the reason your're so defensive is because you love him and you cry at night and just burst in to tears when someone mentions something that reminds you of him and YOUR TWO BEST FRIENDS TALK TO HIM AND YOU 3 ARE ALL TOGETHER AT NEW YEAR AND HE CALLS AND THEY PICK UP AND TALK TO HIM , BOTH OF THEM , AND THEN JUST HANG UP AND I WAS THERE . I KNOW IM NOT I" INVOLVED " FROM THEIR POINT OF VIEW BUT IT WOULD BE NICE TO BE INCLUDED. and i know that they dont notice my sadness because i can hide it and im GOOD and im NOT DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION IFI WAS I WOULD HAVE TOLD THEM and then I JUST CANT SLEEP HE HAUNTS ALL MY STUPID DREAMS AND I JUST WANT IT TO STOP. I JUS WANT HIM TO LEAVE . THEY think im not involved . but i've never been in so deep .
