heyy,
sorry i sound really stupid but i cant think straight and im running out of options. i've had an ED for a long while now, its taken controll of my life and its both physically and mentally killing me. i used to feel so alone and isolated when i was angry and im starting to feel the same again.
the thing that stopped me feeling like that for a bit was a friend who lives far away. i started talking to him and gradually he managed to confide more and more in me. thing is he has had such a hard life that it makes me seem pathetic and at times he sees that too and it makes me feel kinda angry coz hes gone through more physical stuff that cldnt be prevented and i had gone through a mental one that i try not to talk much about coz i feel like an idiot saying it.
i now really love him though because he's actually brilliant and we can have such laughs.. he says he loves me too. now he's turned anorexic and hes starting to see the hell ive seen. it hurts me so much to know what hes going through but not to be there to give him a hug. normally we can talk things through and he doesnt feel so bad. this time he hardly said anything and then just went offline.. his phones lost so i have no contact with him. i get really paranoid and on top of me feeling sht about myself anyway now im worrying about him because i know he will take harmful actions tonight.
what do i do? how can i get him to calm down a bit and talk to me? what should i do when i cant see sense? what is the point? why do i always feel so terrible but cant explain myself coz hes gone through a rough time too and i try and comfort him instead? how do i stop being so paranoid?
sorry for wasting your time
thankyou x
