To break it down, I realised by the music i liked in year5 made me an 'emo'. I was bullied in year6 so in year7 I hid everything. I started to feel depressed after all the stress at school, Nearly getting kicked out. My dog passed away in year7 which made me even worse as my dog was my best friend (sad I know but I didn't have anyone else). Then a while later my cat wen't missing, I don't know what happened to her but there is an electric fence behind our house and I'll leave your imagination to that. In year8 I was still feeling depressed and started to self harm, I did this for ages and then for hiding myself for so long in year 9 I felt my friends didn't like me for was which made me even worse, More school related problems in year 9 lead to things getting worse for me, I decided to get help from The Samaritans and they helped me for alot of the time. A little while ago they said I probably had Major Depressive Disorder. This made me worse thinking thoughts that I should of. All the syptoms matched up and now in year10 things have only gotten worse and my depression is killing me, killing my friendships, Killing my relationships with my family and damaging everything else. The Samaritans are upgrading their servers so I've lost my help. up on me. I really can't go on anymore. I feel so uneeded, so unloved. I still feel I don't fit in with anyone. I doubt people give a **** about me that's all I am, Nobody. I'm sick of people with their fake smiles and saying cheer up. Why doesn't anyone understand!? I've run out of options I don't know what to do anymore. I can't live on, not like this. There is too much pain 24/7. It won't go away, I hate myself more than anything. I'm in need of serious help! I can't talk about my problems by vocal contanct. That's why i came here for the Online chat but I've never gotten through.
