sophh95 / Dec 19 2009 21.07

hey, i know you told us not to waste our breath, but i am.; i feel exactly the same you do, no one cares about you + you don't feel loved, but that is not true, and you can't think that. why can't you open up to your counsiller? they won't tell anyone else its confidential, but trust me, it feels soo much better once you get everything out, or its just gonah stay inside and all your emotions will just bottle up. just think about everything in the future, what career you'll have and a family. cutting yourself is not the answer, we should all be mature enough to know that were just damaging our own body, but we all think its a good relief or stress. then i consider maybe doing breathing exercises and such, but if its worse than that, then maybe just go out for a walk on your own, just to get everything off your mind. 

sorry if this wasn't much help..  but good luck on your exams if you haven't already done them, you can do it, just belive in yourself.. x

caringgirl / Dec 28 2009 16.37

I think i may get it: Anorexia and depression. You told us not to waste our breaths but I will.  I have learnt something,,  if people dont show that they love you or care for you. In truth they care about you, they love you more than you could ever imagine! And if you are anorxic it is probably that that is making you think that

LizzyLoo2 / Dec 28 2009 21.51

I really do get your point, Seems as though there are people who get EVERYTHING they want like boyfriends and happiness and cool stuff and beauty but in the end theyll end up all the same way. But some people do relise, just a smile someones way can change it all. But death is no way the only answer, think how much pain ur parents/cares would be in. Think of how others would feel. im sure ull find more answers, ull be missing out if u dont!

jenniferangal / Dec 29 2009 4.48

 i whanted 2 die 2 but y dk  what happens when u die . 

that should keep u alive 

SomethingCrazy / Dec 30 2009 22.12

Thank you so much for your comments. I will take all of them on board. And I don't have Anorexia, I am far too fat to ever have Anorexia... my eating habits and worries are one thing I never talk about.

And I know I am damaging my own body, but sometimes that is half of the point because ughhh I hate myself so much. I kind of know that death isn't the only answer, but when I write a detailed description it gets me a little worried. I haven't planned a date or anything so I wouldn't worry at all. I am scared of death because, what comes after it? I don't know, but sometimes life is far too much to handle.

I guess I just need to keep living for the sake of living, just to keep everyone else happy. As long as that is so, it is fine.

But I promise I will try to open up a little more *these comments have really meant a lot to me*

Thanks.

Taylor1707 / Jan 02 2010 2.32

It sounds to me as though you have drowned yourself in these thoughts, it all started with you being unhappy, then you convince yourself that your a waste of time and nobody loves you. Your telling us not to waste our breaths because you have already convinced yourself that you are useless, so i wont tell you you are  not, because it doesnt sound as though it will make a difference. If your talking about death, and how much easier it would be if you were gone, then again you have convinced yourself of this. You have isolated yourself so much you think noone loves you, and are sure that noone can possibley feel how you are feeling (which i can tell you is not true!)

      Death is a silly option! if your thinking about your life ending now, then whats the point in not being around? noone lives forever anyway, so for the long time you've got left, stand up and make the most of it. dont WANT to feel dark and upset. Dont worry about other people thinking you are or are not worth something, if you dont think a counsellor can help, then stand up and take care of it yourself, trust me, soon you will be the inspiration for other people in your position. start thinking about other people, and taking care of them, because then, to yourself, you will feel worth something, just do what will make you happy, which is what is important.

bunnyhop / Jan 02 2010 11.31

I care. I honestly do. I don't like people to suffer, and I don't want you to hurt yourself. I doubt you'll even read this, but just in case:

I wish I could hug you, I wish I could support you better than this message, you can reply if you like, but I don't expect you to come out with what in the past is bothering you. All I will say is no-one's forcing you to say, but people will listen. You've had a lot of replies and that is proof people care about you. And what it is, doesn't mean it's easy to get over.

Exam stress is one worry of yours. So much pressure can make you actually do worse. If you fail, it doesn't mean you're not clever. Honestly, once I got a low maths mark and then I got a fairly high one. It was a glitch, perhaps due to not enough revision or work, but it doesn't mean I'm thick.

I wish you'd see a doctor, or at least own up to your cutting to your counsellor since this is something which can damage you a lot. Please don't hurt yourself, though it must be annoying when people say that because it's easier said than done. Have you tried writing your worries down, and then scrunching them up and putting them into the bin? You can also write songs and poetry about how you feel which might help get your emotions out. If you feel like you need to damage something, punch a pillow, rip some paper.

And although you said not to say this, I do think you have distorted thinking, that you are not a waste of space. And let's say, even if you were: you can change. And I bet there's something good abotu you, and even if noone has ever said to you, here's a compliment now: you're smart. How do I know this? I don't have proof, but a lot of people don't write correctly, and people who do are usually signs of intelligence [well, there are exceptions like me] but then, just the way you talk. "Venting." "Frustrations" You might think I'm weird, but I think you're smart. And what about your personality: the least confident ones seem to underestimate themselves. Not always, but a lot of the time. So you probably are a nice person, or nicer than you think.

And please don't kill yourself.

Please?

SomethingCrazy / Jan 02 2010 22.16

Thank you so much for your messages, they mean the world.

You hit the nail on the head there Taylor. Without realising it, I have twisted myself into 'wanting' to feel down. In a way, that is the only way I can get people to care about me because they don't otherwise. I definitely want to get better, definitely, there is just a portion of me holding me back. Is there a way to convince myself I want to get better. I do have evidence laid out before me, I just kind of want it consolidated. I know I have to do it myself, it is just working out how to do it.

And bunnyhop, your message was so sweet :) Thanks a lot. I will take it all on board.

I guess I just need to knuckle down and stop believing I will fail everything and that everyone is against me somehow. Ugh... :)