hello sorry this is too long....

basically I've fallen back into depression, but this time everything is different. its like im not human, I don't feel alive, I feel like I have 2 minds and that I don't realise what I do. Over that past 4 weeks I feel like im going through a portal into another world, which I always seem to fear of. sometimes i don't know what im saying, and my biggest fear is maybe im going mad. no one knows wats happening to me and id like to keep it dat way. i get afraid of people, i even get afraid of watching t.v at time...i know this sounds stupid, but its like watching t,v makes me feel depressed and triggers me off to having palpitations and anxiety / panic attacks. when i write up im my dairies its like i am going mad, and that i fear that something is going to get me.....i don't know wats happening to me.....im panicking so much, when i listen to music i feel so out of the world, i feel like im flying into this world i fear of. i get so attached to my scary imaginations that i cant snap out of....people think im weird but its like i cant get out of my imaginations, i feel so distracted and alive towards them., this has been happening a lot lately, i rarely speak to my friends in lessons cz im into another imagination...these imaginations often occur death, magic, or anything bad happening.i dont know wat to do....each day i seem to be getting weaker and weaker, and my heart feels like its too tired....im relli worried plz help me if u can. thnxxxx