i dnt know what to do anymore. my brothers and sister seem to get on with my mum and dad fine. but not me, i dnt know why. when im with my family it feels like they are making any nasty comments and jokes about me to make me angry. they think its funny, but it just makes me angry. iv got problems with my anger, i take it out by punching things, breaking things, getting in fights.but i duno how to stop thaat. when i started drinking more, i lost any trust with my parents that i ever had. they dont let me out much, because they dnt trust me. sometimes they forbid me to go places, its fustrating , i feeeel so trapped. and i end up bunking school to spend time with my mates. so im not doing too well in my gcse's. i smoke aswell, and when im angry or upset i chainsmoke which just leaves me feeling rubbish. smoking is part of my life tho, and at the moment i wouldent give it up fr anyone. i always feel so depressed and ill :( is there something wrong with me? :/ i have no privacy eeither, i dont even have a bedroom so i feel like i have no space at all. i cant concentrate on school work or anything apart ffrom my street dancing. its whats keeping me going, and now i can only do that once a week because its quite far away and expensive :( and its not like theres even room to practice at my home. i have alot of mates and an amazin best mate, but i cant explain this feeling. i dont wana bring her down and shes always chattin about her boyfriend, and i dont wana bring them down when shes that happy. i dont know who to talk to i feel so guilty and when i do try speek about it i just think there are so many people worse off than me. when im out i walk around smiling like nothings wrong. but im dieing inside. i want to runaway from it all but i cant. i dont want to admit it but im scared. scared of what my dad would do to me. what he would say , and think. if he found me again :| please, i hope someone can help me. i just want to be happy again. i feel so alone. :'(
