-Wings2WalkWith- / Nov 28 2009 15.20

Hi,

Wow, its like you took all that stuff from my head and wrote it down, exactly the same as me. Its like every morning we wake up, put our masks on and go to school. Come home " How was ur day" Yeah great" and then when we are alone it can come off. I no what its like. I started self harming as well, i have a councellor at school who helps, she does know about my SH i think the mentor teacher who sorts out all the councellors for  people  told her but i have never brought it up with her. If u feel like u mask will start craking like me then think about this advce. When it all got to me i became quiet, not myself, to a certain extenet im sttill quiet but atleast a few of my teachers know why and if im in my own world or not with it on a certain day they know just to leave me b. I got kept behind  lesson like 7 months ago and a teacher asked me if i was ok, i wasnt sure whether to tell him anything or not, turns out i told him everything  and it was the best i could of done. He helped me so much. Now im supported from school. My parents currently know none of this. Goodluck

Hope that was sorta helpfull. Write back :)

Wings x

misundastood / Dec 15 2009 20.21

Thanks for that comment its good to now someone feels the same. Its still hanonymous i just forgot my username so had to sign up again. i would take your advice but all the teachers at my school but they are crap with things like this. They havent helped my mate with anorexia at all its ridiculous. Im just going to have to try not to crack at school and get myself together because if anyone finds out there will be those people who say that they understand or know how im feeling how when they couldnt possibly know anything and there will be other more ignorant people who think its for attention because for once in their lives they arent getting any attention.

Thanks anyway i appreciate it x

Hope19 / Dec 17 2009 17.02

I know exactly how you feel. Every morning, I wake up and tell myself "It's worth getting up today" but in truth, I know that I am just lying to myself. but I put on the mask and act as if every things OK, even when its not. I just don't know whats going on any more.

So, you are not alone in feeling this way, and if you ever need to talk, I'm here.

Hope I helped

xxx

down / Dec 18 2009 22.07

 i feel the same as all of you i have started SH everyone at school was on at me finally i cracked after over 4 years the mask fell i couldnt do it now i cant escape it no matter what its eating me alive i dunno what to do about it any advise

Hannaa123 / Dec 21 2009 20.13

Did you just write a paragraph on my mind ? Thtas Excatly How I Feel ! Ive Told My Friend And She Tried To Help But it doesnt work.

-Wings2WalkWith- / Dec 26 2009 11.45

I no what you mean about people thinkning we are attention seekers just because Sh is the only way we can deal with it, i get that alot. But ya no, i dont care anymore, think what they like, they will never b me therefore cannot feel what i do, and if they are so plain stupid they think we do this for attention, then they are not worth worrying over, we are better then them and all of us will get through, if you can talk to someone then do try, if not then stay strong, we are all in the same position.

 

Take care.

 

Wings x

sad111 / Dec 26 2009 17.58

omg its like your in the same boat as me, talking really helps, i did self harm, and even tried running away but it doesnt help, i think you should get councelling it mite help you.

misundastood / Dec 30 2009 19.25

Thank you fr all our comments, its god knowing there are quite a few people in exactly the same position as me after having noone at all in the same boat aa me for all this time. Unfortunately i find out a couplemore things which just adds to the bloody pile. My grandad has osteoporosis in his back to he can hardly walk and it keeps getting worse. I knew this already but what i didnt know was that he also has parkinsons disease and a form of dementia. Also, my brother was in a car crash aobut 4 years ago and has had back problems since then. Its been getting worse and he went for a scan last week and they found that he has a a spine of a 40 year old (hes 23) and it is also cracked at the bottom. If he has an operation on it there is a chance he wont be able to walk so he is just having pain relieving injections atm. The doctos have also told him to quit his job working on cars and stuff as it is making his back worse but its what he loves doing. I dont get when all this shit is going to end its like one big circle.

Emilyxxx / Jan 05 2010 2.18

 I know exactly how you feel. That smile and that laugh that can just be slipped on over the top of everything else sparkle because its so much easier than having to answer the questions and make people understand who just never are going to. I self harm too and my mum knows, she thinks I'm attention seeking and stupid and just forgot it all but she is half the reason I just force that smile because when she saw I had to try and explain and it all came out wrong that's why now I just blame it on my cat and no questions asked. Make a comment about him being evil and out to get me, add in a laugh or a smile and that's that with no questions.

EscapeToMusic1 / Jan 06 2010 21.29

This is pretty freaky, its like were all exactly the same.

im depressed, and at home i can do absolutely nothing. i dont speak, i just go on my laptop, listen to music, play guitar but my minds always on other stuff. is that what its like for everyone ? doing one thing but thinking about how you feel?

anyway, at school i was the same, faking smiles, getting on with it, because yeah it seems easier at the time. but then i did crack. in a week i ended up breaking down about 10 times, completely in a mess. since then i only told one person about my depression, who i know i can trust. she isnt part of my 'group' if you get me, and i cant tell anyone in my group, because theyre all acting like jerks and treating me like im invnisible. if i walk off upset, they watch me go.

my mums the same. she thinks im just being awkward with her, and when i tried to explain that it was depression she wouldnt listen, at all. So im alone. and stuck.

in your position, id let it all out to a friend. thats the best thing i did. because then at least you know theres one person there to help you if you do crack. sorry if this sounds bad, but if im honest, you will probably crack. eventually. if you dont find that one person who can help. i left it a bit too late,  im just trying to say dont take any chances.

stay strong x