I've confused my therapist and a few others with the inconsistancy of my meetings.. My mind is all over the place with flashbacks and memories and im so ashamed,scared and worried about how my therapist will react i dont say anything, Im having trust issues with her at the moment and i dont know why... because i do want to trust her but at the same time something is stopping me. Im scared at the moment as they are all really confused and im worried they'll stop believing me and then i'll be left in the dark. As i know how everything happened.. when and where etc its just hard for me to verbalise or admit to it. so im writing it all out and am giving her the story of everything that happened.. all the abuse and what happened... I havent finished writing it but my appointments on friday. Im getting scared already thinking she'll hate me or get angry and shout at me.. he always said if i told anyone they would just know how repulsive i am and will just hate me from the moment they found out... another reason is i dont want to hurt her.. she's been so good and i've caused enough pain as it is so im scared she'll become ill or something.. i cant hurt anymore people and im just lost.. I dont know whether to  give it to her or not. I dont know...