Ask Sam

Hello there,

When something bad happens, it can make us worry that it could happen again and this fear can really affect us. Bad things do happen from time to time, but it’s important to make sure we get on with our lives and aren’t frozen by the fear of things that may never even happen.

It can be very frightening when we have a bad experience - and it’s okay to be afraid - but if it’s still affecting you months later then it’s important to find ways to cope.

First, it might be good to think about what actually happened and what you know about it. A smashed window immediately makes us think someone did it on purpose – but it’s also possible it was an accident and someone was too afraid to own up to breaking it. If you’d known from the start it was an accident you probably wouldn’t feel this way – and you don’t know that it wasn’t an accident.

It could also help to think about how many times something like this has happened. Right now all you can think about is what happened that night and what if it happens again – but you weren’t worried about this before bonfire night. Think about all of those thousands of nights where nothing has happened – it’s easy to forget how rare things like this are.

Finally there might be some practical things you can do to make yourself feel safer, like keeping a light on or playing music quietly while you fall asleep. Reassuring yourself that all the windows are locked before bed might help you to relax enough to fall asleep.

It’s always okay to talk to someone about this but if you don’t have anyone in your own life you could talk to, then you can always speak to a ChildLine counsellor. I hope this has helped.

Thank you for your letter.

Take care,
Sam