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Hi there,
It sounds like you are finding things really difficult at the moment and you are feeling hopeless about things. I can hear that there are lots of things going on in your life that are making you unhappy and it sounds like this is affecting your confidence too.
Often when people are looking to change how they feel it is important to focus on what is behind these feelings, until you are able to figure out what might be causing you to feel like this it may be difficult for you to move forward. Sometimes when we feel bad about ourselves and lacking passion, this can have a deep effect on many aspects of life.
The feeling of hating yourself can be powerful and make us feel trapped and although it may feel like there is no escape, we find that there is when we talk about our problems and can begin to view them differently and things can slowly improve.
You tell me that you feel like there is nothing worth living for and it sounds like you might be having thoughts about suicide. It can be really difficult to cope with feeling so low and lots of young people tell me that it can help to share those feelings with someone; this could be an adult you trust or a counsellor at ChildLine. Writing a letter to Sam can be a courageous and important first step for many young people.
Our counsellors are here for you 24 hours a day, everyday and you can contact them on the phone for free on 0800 1111, on a 1-2-1 chat or by email. There is also a lot of useful advice and support about how to cope is you are feeling suicidal on the Explore page.
Take care
Sam
Contact a counsellor online or call 0800 1111. Calls are free and confidential.