Ask Sam

Hi there,

Telling people about your sexuality is a brave step to take. I’m glad that you have decided to write to me as this is something that you don’t have to go through alone.

Letting people know about your sexuality doesn’t just happen once. When you’re ready, you might decide you want to tell other people about your sexuality. When this happens, you’ll probably find that you have a mixture of reactions from people. 

For example, some people, like your mum, may not believe you or think that you are too young to decide. Some people may be surprised, upset or unfriendly. People’s reactions can leave you with some upsetting emotions. But this does not mean that you’ve done anything wrong. 

No one has the right to be nasty to you about your sexuality or make you feel ashamed. If someone does respond in a way that is hurtful you have the right to tell them. This might feel difficult to do. 

Confronting someone about their behaviour in a way that isn't aggressive is hard. Especially if you're upset. So it might be a good idea to have a think about what you want to say to them before you say it. Perhaps talk it through with someone else, write it down and/or talk it through with a ChildLine counsellor. 

You can also read about other people’s experiences of coming out and how they coped with other’s reactions.

Take care,
Sam