Ask Sam

Hello,

Thanks for writing to me about the way you have been feeling.

From what you say, it feels like you are quite confused about wanting to be an individual and also wanting to blend in. It sounds like you would like to follow your own ideas and thoughts about the way you look but when you have tried this in the past you felt self conscious and aware of people looking at you and saying things because you are different.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be who you are and to express yourself accordingly. It can take a lot of courage to be different and, as you are finding out, coping with comments and other people’s attitudes can be difficult.

It feels like you are finding it hard to cope with this conflict within you, of being unable to be yourself. You mention that you have self-harmed, tried drugs, smoking and drinking to help you run away from it. It’s really important to stay safe when you engage in these kind of behaviours and you can find out more about this on the ChildLine website.

You also sound worried about your friend. I want you to know that it not your fault that your friend has started self-harming. You are not responsible for the choices that your friend makes. There is some advice and information about helping a friend on the Explore page.
 
It might be that you would like to talk things through some more and I want you to know that you can contact ChildLine to talk whenever you want to; they are always there to listen and support all young people, including you and your friend. You can contact them by phone, 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email. 

Take care,

Sam