Ask Sam

Hi there,

Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me about what you’re going through. It sounds as though things are difficult at home and at school right now.

You said that you’re feeling pushed out and from what you’ve described, the “popular” kids are making sly comments and your friends are making jokes at your expense. Nobody has the right to bully you like this and it’s not your fault that it’s happening. You deserve respect. It doesn’t seem as though the teacher did anything about the bullying so it might be a good idea to choose a different teacher to talk to about what’s happened. Some people might also tell the teacher again and let them know that nothing has changed.  You have the right to get help to make this bullying stop and if you don’t feel that one particular teacher is helping, it’s OK to speak to somebody else. There are other things you can so as well, like look at how you react to their comments. The important thing is for you to know that there is help and sometime we have to ask more than once for people to hear us properly.

I’m concerned that your brother is putting you down and saying you have no talent. We are all different and we all have different talents. You’ve done really well to explain how you’re feeling to me and I’m wondering whether you think it might help to write a letter to your parents, explaining what’s been happening from your point of view and how it’s left you feeling. It sounds like you think your mum forgot what your brother called you so perhaps it might help for her and your dad to have it down in writing so that they have time to give it a bit more thought. It might be that they are not aware of how this has affected you.

I noticed that you said that you had a short temper too and it might help to take a look at the Young Minds webpage on Anger problems. It gives lots of information and advice about what to do when you’re feeling angry and has ideas about how to get help for it as well.

You’ve done really well to get in touch with me and I hope that you can get the support you need to deal with the problems in your home and school life. Remember, you can always talk to a counsellor at ChildLine if you want to talk to someone about this in more detail.

Take care,

Sam