Ask Sam

To Sam 2 May 2014

what should i do?...

I'm in secondary school at the moment, in year 8. All my friends and class mates tend to say that a boy that i know loves me (not like). All i want to know is if he does or not. The thing is that he acts weird around me all the time; for example: he tries to stick up to me even when i dont want him to, he also gets jealous of one of my boy-best friend, who i find really great! Once when i told him before that i have a boyfriend he seemed really shocked and surprised. It wasnt only me who recognised but my girl-bestfriend identified it too. The more people start to talk about it, the more i hate him, to the point that he is just like everything i despise (i even find it annoying when he comes near me or talks to me), what should i do?
should i talk to him about the problem, or shall i ignore him or is there another option. And does he love me really or not??

Sam 2 May 2014

Hi there,

It sounds like the situation with the boy is really confusing. You’ve said that he sticks up for you, acts jealously when you’re around male friends and that your female friends have noticed his behaviour too. It’s never really possible to know what someone is thinking or feeling without talking to them, so I can’t tell you if he loves you or not.

It sounds really frustrating for you to not know how he feels and to be unsure about what to do next. I can see from your message that you’ve thought of two options - ignoring him or talking to him about it. I’m not sure how you feel about those options or which of them you think you’d rather go with. However, ignoring him sounds like it would mean you never got the answers you’re wanting. How would you feel if you didn't know for sure?

Talking to people about feelings can sometimes feel difficult and take some courage. If he does love you, it might be scary for him to tell you, especially if you don’t feel the same. So perhaps it would be useful to think about what you’d like to say to him before you ask (if that’s the option you go with).

Have you ever used the ChildLine message boards at all? Sometimes posting questions there and asking other young people for their opinions can help. Also, you can always get in touch with a ChildLine counsellor on a 1-2-1 chat or a phone call and talk it through. They’d really want to support you as best they can.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Take care,
Sam

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