Ask Sam

Hello,

Thank you for writing to me. It’s good to hear that you now have friends you enjoy spending time with. It sounds like you feel guilty now about what you did and I can hear that you’re feeling unsure about how much to say to your friends about what happened. You’ve also explained that because they don’t know about it, it can be difficult explaining why you can’t go into Boots with them. Keeping secrets can be hard, especially when things happen around us that make the secret harder to keep.  It seems like you want to be honest with them, but you are also concerned that telling them may change their opinions about you. If you do decide to tell them perhaps you could explain that is how you feel before you tell them more. Writing a letter can be another way of talking about something you feel nervous about, some young people say it has helped them to start difficult or embarrassing conversations.

I’m wondering whether anyone else knows about what happened, and the fact that you are banned from Boots. If anyone that you trust knows, have a think about talking to them about whether to tell your friends. Another place you may be able to get some ideas or advice about deciding what to do is the Friendship messageboards. 

You could also contact a ChildLine counsellor to talk more about who you would tell, and how much you would you tell them. It’s important that you choose someone you  feel comfortable to talking to - who may be able to help you decide what you'd like to do.

Thanks for your letter,

Sam