Ask Sam

Hello J,

Thank you for getting in touch to tell me what things are like for you at the moment. It’s good to hear that you have been talking to other people about what’s going on, but it sounds like the way some people reacted has made you feel like people haven’t taken what you told them seriously. ChildLine will always take what you tell us seriously and you can have a confidential chat with a counsellor either on the phone or online.

It was brave of you to let other people know about the way your mum’s ex abused you. If you would like more support about coping with this you could talk to a counsellor. You could also look at the message boards to see what other young people have said about their experiences of talking to others about their abuse.

I can see that you care a lot about your family, and feel scared about them being hurt. I’m wondering who else knows that your mum was also hit by her ex. There is an organisation called Women’s Aid who support women who are being abused by a partner, or ex-partner. They also have a website called The Hideout for young people who have experienced this in their family. There is also more information on the ChildLine website about domestic violence.

I’m very concerned by what you said about how your brother is being hurt by his dad. This is physical abuse and against the law. You explained that he has told people and things haven’t changed. Another thing you could think about is talking to your brother about if he would like to speak to ChildLine as children of all different ages do contact ChildLine.

From what you’ve said it sounds like going through court is stressful for you, and for your family. You said that your brother is feeling scared about living with his dad. The views of the children should always be listened to when decisions are being made about which parent they will live with. There is a service called the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (Cafcass for short) that exists to make sure this happens. The court should always listen to what everyone involved has to say, and I’m wondering what makes you feel like they are on his side. Perhaps if you spoke to a ChildLine counsellor, or send us a private email you could tell us more about that.

It’s important that you have enough support while you are pregnant, and also after you have had your baby. There is a lot of information about pregnancy in Explore.  As your baby is due soon maybe you could think about talking to a midwife or health visitor about your worries.

I can see that there is a lot going on in your life at the moment and I’m really pleased that you did decide to write to me. If you talk to a ChildLine counsellor, on the phone or online you could talk more about what is happening and also how you would like things to change.

Take care,

Sam