Ask Sam

Hi there,

Thank you for your letter, you seem like a really supportive and caring friend. From what you say it really does seem like what is happening to your friend is having a negative affect on her. It is completely understandable that she is finding this very difficult to deal with. It's not nice to be shouted at and to feel angry like this.

Your friend is not alone with bottling things up, a lot of people do that when they don't know how to cope with their problems. Usually people find that this really doesn’t help and it can even result in people hurting themselves, perhaps by self-harming, like your friend. Maybe if she could get some support with what is happening at home it would help her to understand that she does not have to bottle things up and that she has the right to be listened to. 

Your friend may find it helpful to contact ChildLine herself by phone or online. Perhaps you could suggest that to her. She could talk to ChildLine about her situation at home and we can support her to decide what she would like to change. She may also find some of the videos on the ChildLine website useful, perhaps the emotional abuse video or Will's story. Will's story is a video about self-harm and how one young person’s sister supported him to find healthier and more helpful ways to deal with difficult feelings.

It’s understandable that your friend self-harming concerns you and it sounds like you are trying your best to help her. It is important that you are also supported through this. Perhaps you have an adult in your life who you could talk this over with and who you could share your concerns with. You are also very welcome to talk to Childline by logging on for a 1-2-1 chat or by phoning 0800 1111.

Hope this helps, take care,

Sam