Ask Sam

Ask Sam Child Avatar

To Sam

He hits me wen drunk

Ive been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years. it seems like everytime he drinks he turns nasty to me says he cant remember next day he gave up drink did everything for me then out the blue he drinkin again. Yesterday he told me to come down, he was sat the and i knew by his face he was angry about something so i sat there and watched tele tried to talks to him but he ignored me them he just span around askin me why im here callin em a slag started raggin my hair punching me picked up the tele remote slapping me across the face with it threw glass cups at me what just missed and smashed agaisnt the walls. ive tried to fight back that makes him more angry so i just sit there and take it.
Ive left him b4 but he constantly phone me, comes to my family home kicking off. he had me once pinned out side for 4 hours telling me how he gonna kill me if i leave him or if he finds out im with someone else. im scared but i dont know what to do. i feel the police wont take me seriouse coz i had them out once b4 when he tried to smash my dad windows and i went back to him. ive left him but not told him till i can sort something out, but where i work is where he lives so he will see me no matter wht. i have to get bus home so it not like i can hide from him, please give me some advice
Ask Sam

Sam

Hi,

Thank you for writing your letter to me. You have been really brave and you did the right thing to talk about this.

I’m really worried about how your boyfriend is treating you. The way he’s acting would be described as domestic violence. This behaviour is very wrong and is also extremely dangerous to your physical and your mental health. The fact that he is drunk when he hurts you doesn’t make it understandable or ok. Lots of people have a drink now and again but would still never ever treat another person the way he has treated you.

You deserve to have a healthy relationship that is about trust, respect and love. The Brook website has some really helpful information about healthy and unhealthy relationships. It sounds clear to me that your boyfriend hasn’t been treating you in the way you deserve. Your boyfriend does not have the right to hurt you and you should be treated much better than this. I’m really glad to hear that you’ve been able to make the decision to leave him, I understand that’s a really difficult thing to do. I can hear that you feel really scared about how to keep yourself safe now.

There are a lot of people out there that can help, so you don’t have to go through this all on your own. It sounds like your dad may already be aware of what is happening? Do you feel you can talk to him for help? Remember, you can always ring the police if you are in danger. You’ve told me you called the police once before and that was absolutely the right thing to do. I can hear you are worried that they won’t believe you if you need to call them again. The police understand that it can be very difficult for a person to get away from an abusive relationship and should always take your concerns seriously.

You can also call the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247 for support and advice about the services that are out there for you. If you are over 16, they may be able to find a place for you in a refuge, which is a safe place where you boyfriend won’t be able to find you. The Women’s Aid website has really useful advice about how to make a safety plan if you are in an abusive relationship or thinking of leaving.

You always have us here at Childline. You don’t have to go through this all on your own. You have the right to be safe and with help, that can happen for you.

Take care,

Sam

Need help straight away?

Contact a counsellor online or call 0800 1111. Calls are free and confidential.

My locker
just the way
I like it

Sign up or login to create your space and track your mood