Ask Sam

Hi,

Thanks for your letter. It sounds like you felt really let down by this guy since he treated you badly. I can hear how hurt all of this has made you. It sounds like you might doubt how much truth there is in what he’s saying. I’m afraid only you and this person can know how truthful he's being.

When someone breaks your trust it can damage your confidence in a relationship. It’s important to feel safe and happy with your partner and communication is really important. You might want to consider talking to him about how all of this is making you feel.

It’s always a good idea to take time for ourselves to consider what we’re looking for in a relationship. That way we can make the other person aware of our hopes and expectations and find out if they are looking for similar things. It can also be good to ask yourself how this person is affecting you emotionally – you said he makes you feel like a second option and that’s something you shouldn’t have to feel. You might want to look at our Relationships page - hopefully you can get some more advice here.

You’re welcome to come and speak to a ChildLine counsellor anytime about what’s happening and how you’re feeling. You can have a 1-2-1 chat or call for free on 0800 1111. We also have a relationships message board where you can see how other young people have gone through something similar.

I hope some of this helps.

Take care,
Sam