Ask Sam

Hi there,

Thanks for your letter.

You’ve shown a lot of courage to write to me about what’s been happening at home. It sounds like life with your mum could be difficult for you.

You have told me that your mum is struggling to control her anger and she takes it out on you. I can hear that your mum has caused you to have black eyes and one of them is bloodshot. It is not okay for your mum to hurt you. This is called physical abuse which is wrong and it’s not your fault.

It sounds like you might be scared of what could happen if you told someone. It’s natural to feel that way when someone you care about is hurting you. It feels like it could be important to find a way for you to be safe and that would mean trying to tell an adult you trust. That might be your dad or someone like a teacher or school nurse.

When someone is being physically abused at their home, they can sometimes become involved with social services. This does not automatically mean they will be taken into care when people find out. That’s a decision which can only be made by social services. They will usually try to help and support a family in making changes first if they feel that’s appropriate. I want to let you know that they could become involved and it is their job to protect children who are being abused. If you do decide to tell someone, and I hope you do, then you could ask them about this.

I’m glad you felt able to start talking about what your life is like at home and I want you to know you do not have to be alone. The ChildLine counsellors are there to listen and support you. You can phone them free on 0800 111, send an email, or log on for a 1-2-1 chat. They will not pressure you to tell someone until you feel ready to do that. They can keep most things you talk about between you and ChildLine. You can find out more about the kinds of things they may need to tell someone else in our confidentiality promise.

Take care,
Sam