Ask Sam

Hi there,

Friendships are an important part of life for many people. Friends can be there to support and enjoy life with each other. It isn’t okay for a friend to bully you and it’s not your fault that it’s happening. You deserve to have friendships that make you feel respected and cared about. It’s wrong for your friend to call you names and try and make you feel bad about yourself. 

You said your friend doesn’t seem to care if she hurts you and she sounds as though she’s making you very angry and unhappy. It could help to try and let your friend know how she’s making you feel, because there’s a chance that she doesn’t realise. If you decide to try this, it’s a good idea to plan what you’d like to say. You might find it useful to check out our tips about being assertive to help you get your point of view across to her.

If you decide that talking to her doesn’t feel right, it might help to tell an adult at school about your friend’s behaviour. Staff at all schools have a responsibility to help keep all young people safe from bullying. Think about which teacher or member of staff you can trust and write down everything you’d like them to know about your friend’s behaviour.

Bullying can affect your confidence so if the things she’s been saying have affected how you feel about yourself, how about finding out more on building your confidence and self-esteem? We have some useful tips to help you work on feeling better about yourself.

If you’d like to talk this through some more, please remember that you can always speak to a ChildLine counsellor. They can be there to listen and help you think about what you’d like to do.

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this letter to me.  I can hear that you’re having a very upsetting time and I really hope you get the support you need.

Take care,
Sam